I admit it, I have been to yoga three times now, beginner’s yoga. Where they speak rather slowly and do all positions in a pace that is possible to follow even for someone like me. You learn how to breathe, to grab your big toe with your index finger and your middle finger – preferably whilst having straight legs, I have not gotten that far yet, since being a beginner.

“Elements” they call the beginner’s level. Actually it is not beginner’s beginner’s in the common sense I think that it is just more suitable for beginners. Something like that.

Anyway, I’ve been going to “Elements”, I have been very tired and it has been a little bit painful – they say that yoga should not be painful, but it is for me, a little bit.

I have checked the schedule for the Yoga studio and it says “Elements” every day at 10 am. This day I arrive at four minutes to ten, I get changed, I literally dive into the room which is not even half full today: I get the impression that the reason for the room not being full is that this is not “Elements”.

We spend a little bit longer in the more difficult positions, I am covered in sweat after about seven minutes, after 20 minutes the Yoga mat they let you borrow at the studio is so wet it splashes as soon as you put any part of your body on the mat.

I look around the room, rather shameful.

The small Asian women in the room have their hands interlaced behind their backs, after having brought their arms between their legs and behind the neck and somehow managed to let the hands connect by the lower back.

Are they sweating? No, not at all, their mats are dry and therefore give them the support that is needed for some of the positions. To do yoga on my mat is at this point like doing yoga in a water slide.

The only time there is some resistance is when the teacher tells us to “put down your heel to the floor, let your right foot slide forward with your knee stretched and - if you can - go into a split.”

I was thinking that "this is it, I will slide like I’ve never slid before." But inside of me I was smiling, I am glad and I am thinking that maybe maybe I will be able go into a split just because my mat is slippery and I could possibly get some “Bambi-on-ice-credit”.

Of course I did not go into a split, my groins, my hips and my hamstrings all stand up and say, no, they scream: “No! STOP!”

Pause. By pause means that you stand in a position I think is called “The dog” or perhaps "Downward facing dog", it is not really a pause per se, it is sort of a small break, I think it is just something you do in between the different positions.

In a place like Bangkok you have many different accents and many different types of English and of any language really. So when this teacher says “Dog” I could not make out if she was saying “Dog” or “Duck” and looking at me doing yoga, it could really be either one of the two animals.

So the pause position is never really a pause position, not on a dry yoga mat and definitely on a wet one.

I push my finger into the mat, I can see liquid coming up from the mat through my fingers, seat is dripping from my forehead and from my hair and I am about to slide doen onto my stomach, I tighten my muscles in my arms and my shoulders, just before the teacher tells us to relax our shoulders and arms… “lift one leg, bend your knee and point to the back with your toes."

Whatever animal you see in front of you now, does not exist, it certainly does not have a name.

45 minutes into the session I starting to realize that this is NOT the usual beginner’s stuff. I push myself to the limit and I last 1½ hours, the class is over. I leave the room, I go to check the schedule and it says:

“Flow – for the advanced and experienced”

Oops.

If  I did not make a fool out of myself  among the other beginners I probably did so here in this group. Now, they say that you can’t make a fool out of yourself doing yoga.

“You can’t win, it is not a competition”

Sometimes it certainly feels like you lose though.

After this session I craved McDonald’s, to balance all that Zen I had in me. But I resisted, and that felt good too.

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I went to Yoga today. Not for the first time ever, but for the first time in Bangkok, I am a beginner though. I am a Marathoner, a Triathlete and an Adventure racer.

I am definitely not a Yogi.

It seems nice, almost pleasant to do Yoga, from a distance it looks like dancing and I have had a hard time seeing myself doing it. Not that I have not been wanting to do it, oh no.

So I went to Yoga Elements, the teacher, instructor or whatever you call them, looked like a Greek God, one that you would think you only find at museums. Now this instructor was a bit more flexible than the Gods you see in museums.

I was standing there feeling like a dork, very skinny and stiff, with very muscular legs, but that somehow doesn’t really count in a Yoga studio. I looked around and I felt very much out of place.

It is easy to be prejudice about Yoga, it gives a bit of a dopey impression, from a distance, sort of sect-like and mainly – if not only - for vegetarians and women.

I am or have been rather. And here I am, because it looks like fun and I think it would be good for me and my body.

The teacher started:

“Have a seat, make yourself comfortable”

To make yourself comfortable when you are doing yoga means that you sit on the floor with crossed legs, the so-called “Lotus position”.

Sitting with my legs crossed wasn’t even comfortable when I was in kindergarten.

“Take a deep breath, fill your stomach with air and feel how the stomach now takes up space”

The stomach was taking up space even before I took a deep breath…

After that, the teacher asks us to “feel how the energy is pouring into our heads from above, continuing down to the lungs, the energy is streaming together with the air we’re breathing, through our bodies. How it stops in our stomach and helps us relax.

I was feeling relaxed. It worked! I sort of managed to do the first drill of the day, besides being comfortable. But I was fairly relaxed though.

The teacher was talking continuously, instructing us what to do and how to breathe. Most likely, he was very relaxed, but it looked like he was flexing his muscles all the time.

He continues:

"Breathe in, fall back, lift your heart up towards the sky and press your feet down to the earth, feel how you are stretching the skin of your palms, lift your right hand and your left leg, stretch as far apart as possible and feel how you are becoming longer and longer with every breath, bring your left hip forward and press your left foot equally backwards, don’t flex your foot nor bring back your toes."

We’re on the 26^th floor in a huge building in the middle of Bangkok, when this teacher refers to alternately the sky alternately the earth, is it slightly easier to grasp the concept of the sky, even if it is very grey this day.

Sweat is dripping from me; from my forehead, my arms, my back and my legs, I have forgotten everything about the initial talk about breathing, I am huffing and puffing while I, with support from my hands and toes, am trying to lie parallel with the floor – in the air, not on the floor. As if this was not enough, I am at the same time trying to take in all the information that the teacher is giving out, how to breathe, where to look and what part of my body I should be feeling at this particular time.

“Fredrik, do you already feel your hamstrings?” the teacher asks with a slight puzzled tone to his voice.

I could feel my hamstrings in the elevator on the way up.

Prejudice is gone, this is hard work, I am tired I need food and I would love to have a steak, so I guess Yoga is not only for vegetarians.

I’ll be back for more.

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